Laid To Rest
by CBloom2
Summary: Jamie was handling the trauma of the last few days wasn't he? must had to get through this day...tag to 3.22


**Hi guys - here is the other one shot I was talking about. It's dealing with Vinny's funeral but also still with Jamie's reaction to the death of his partner. I'm posting it before the finale because this is completely from my own head and I know that if they do show his funeral then it will be nothing like this. **

**I do not know how police funerals are held in the U.S. so please forgive me if I am totally off the reservation with this.**

**In my world, Jamie has already been to see Vinny's mum with Frank (maybe someone else could write that as I know I wouldn't do that justice). Spoilers for The Bitter End. I don't own anyone you recognise as I'm sure you know.**

**Laid to Rest**

The incessant beeping of the alarm clock woke Jamie from a not so restful sleep. He glanced at the time - 8am - let let his head fall back on to the pillow. He'd managed four hours of sleep - slightly better than the night before.

He threw off the covers and steadily padded across the wooden floor to the window. He opened the curtains to reveal a bright, sunny morning. It was then that he noticed the kid from three doors down delivering newspapers - that was when he realised that he was still at his fathers house - where he had been staying since...no, he didn't want to go there yet. He went to the bathroom, then quietly made his way to the kitchen, hoping to grab some coffee before everyone else - then he wouldn't have to face..."Morning Jamie," came the sound of not only his fathers voice, but his grandfathers also, both throwing sympathetic glances his way - the very glances that he had been hoping to avoid. He kept his head down as he strode across the kitchen, mumbling a greeting, "How's the shoulder?" Frank asked, trying to keep his tone light.

At the mention of his wounded shoulder, Jamie felt a stab of pain slice through it, "It's good," he lied.

"Your painkillers are on the table along with some toast," Henry informed him, "I'm good he says, humph, a likely story, " he muttered to himself.

Jamie sighed as he lowered himself into one of the chairs across from his dad. He chewed the toast, but only because he knew he needed to eat so he could take a pill - the necessity of relieving the pain outweighing the fact that he wasn't hungry. He was glad that the toast seemed to be settling on his stomach alright, for the first time since... All that changed, however, when he caught a glimpse of the front page of the newspaper _HERO NYPD OFFICER TO BE LAID TO REST_ was the headline along with a picture of a smiling Vinny Cruz.

Jamie swallowed his painkiller and made a hasty retreat to the shower. Frank looked at the headline and sighed deeply. As much as he wanted to protect his youngest son, to not cause him any more pain, he knew that the situation had to be faced, there was no running from this. Henry stopped in his task of collecting the dishes when he saw his own sons haunted expression, "He'll cope Francis - he's grown a lot over the years..."

Frank scrubbed his hand across his face, "I know Pop...but I fear this may change him forever."

Henry nodded his agreement, "Well he'll have his family to support him...if he lets us," he insisted.

Frank nodded, "That he will Pop - that he will."

A few hours later, Danny Reagan pulled up outside his family home. He shut off the engine and just sat in the car for a while as he studied his childhood home with trepidation - knowing that somewhere in that same house, his little brother was once again suffering the after effects of someone close to him being shot dead. He was suddenly jolted out of his thoughts by a knock on the window - Erin. He got out of the car, surprise evident on his face, "What are you doing here sis?"

Erin rolled her eyes, "I'm here for the same reason you are..."

"Lunch?" Danny couldn't help himself.

"Ass," she smiled as she nudged him. She then threaded her arm through his, "Do you think Jamie will be alright?" she asked, her features pinched with worry.

"Eventually," Danny replied.

Suddenly Erin stopped, causing Danny to stop with her, "I know Jamie's hurting right now - but I've lost count of the number of times in the last couple of days where I've thanked God that it's not Jamie that we're burying today..." her voice broke as a tear leaked out of her eye.

Danny wiped the tear away, "You and me both sis," he admitted.

As they made their way up the steps, arm in arm, the door opened to reveal Frank, dressed in his dress uniform. He hurried to his eldest son and daughter, embracing them both as he made his way to his car, with Henry following. The three siblings were travelling behind him in Danny's car.

As the Commissioner's car slowly pulled away, Jamie appeared, fumbling with his tie. Erin smiled lovingly, "Come here you klutz - you've never been able to do a tie!"

"That's what sisters are for," Jamie countered, grateful for the sense of normality, even though the underlying tension was still there.

Jamie caught his big brothers eye over his sisters head, " You ready kid?" Danny asked, knowing full well that he was anything but. A curt nod of the head was all he could offer by way of an answer.

How could the sun still be shining - the birds still be singing - the world still turning...when they were burying his partner?

Jamie stood ram rod straight, watching the proceedings as if he was out of his body. A sea of blue uniforms carpeted the neatly trimmed lawn. People were saying things about Vinny - the minister - his dad - but what were they saying? He couldn't concentrate. Now Mrs Cruz was saying something about her beloved son - but what? He remembered when he had been to see her with his father. She had been so welcoming, even though she had just lost her son - even though he had neen the one who had lived when her son had died.

Jamie started to shuffle, he was starting to feel uncomfortable.

Suddenly he noticed that the casket was moving...a bugle was playing...Joe...this happened with Joe because...because he's dead. Vinny's dead, just like Joe...

All of a sudden the world began to spin - his breathing had changed to short, panting breaths - his head felt fuzzy - the blood was rushing in his hears - his heart was pounding he felt like he was going to pass out at any minute.

**BANG! BANG!** Two vollys of gunfire sounded as a mark of respect for Vinny. Jamie gasped in shock. He grabbed hold of the closest object to steady himself. That object happened to be Danny's arm, "Danny...I can't..."

Danny, who had spun round to face him when he had felt that vice like grip on his arm, whispered urgently, "Oh my God, Jamie, what...?"

Jamie looked awful. His usually pale complexion had taken on a greyish tinge,with a purple hue appearing on his lips - his breaths coming out in painful pants.

Danny recognised that his brother was having some sort of anxiety attack.

"Danny...I need...need to...get out..."

Immediately, Danny pulled himself together and throwing an arm around his brother, started to lead him away from the throng as discreetly as possible. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the look of concern on his fathers face - but he was also aware that at that moment in time, his dad was the Police Commissioner, so today it was _his_ job to look after Jamie.

He managed to steady his brother as far as his car, where he sat him on the back seat with his feet on the ground in front of him. He still wasn't looking very good and his breathing was still irregular. Danny could feel a sense of panic beginning to rise in him. This was kind of out of his comfort zone - it had always been Joe's area of expertise. Luckily for him, Erin had noticed his little brothers distress and had followed them.

Before Danny knew what was happening, Erin was crouched in front of Jamie. She took hold of his hand and placed it on her chest and was now quietly and calmly reminding Jamie how to breathe. Danny was mesmorised watching his sister calm their distressed brother down, and by god it was working.

About ten minutes later, Jamie was calming down. His colouring had almost returned to normal, although he was still to pale for Danny's liking.

"You ok now Jamie?" Erin asked as she carded her fingers through Jamie's hair to soothe him.

Jamie nodded, "I think so, thanks...and I'm sorry about all this."

Erin smiled, as Danny took a step forward, "What happened back there Jamie?"

"Vinny's dead," Jamie mumbled without emotion.

"I know kid..."

"Everyone around me seems to die. Vinny's dead...Joe...that girl Noni and her baby...then the guns...it took me back you know?" he looked at Danny for some sort of validation.

"Yeah Jamie, unfortunately I do, " Danny informed him.

"He was my partner. I was supposed to have his back,"Jamie cried.

Danny looked at Erin - both realising that Jamie was finally opening up.

"I was supposed to be there for him. I told him as soon as we got there that it was a set up but it was his turf you know? He grew up there - he wasn't about to back down. I told him that we needed to get out of there...then the shooting started," he began to massage his shoulder, " I was hit so I dove for cover - I thought Vinny had already found some cover, but I...it...it was already to late. He was already bleeding out. I got a few shots off, then I managed to drag him to me...I begged him to hang on - to stay with me...but...he couldn't..." Tears were coursing down not only Jamie's cheeks but Danny's and Erin's too, as they realised the extent of what their brother had had to endure and just how close they had been to losing him.

"He said that it was ok...he was smiling telling me that it was ok - but it wasn't ok - it'll never be ok again!"

Erin couldn't help herself - she leant forward and brought Jamie into a bone crushing hug, " Vinny knew that you had his back. You got him out of there before anyone else could - you saved him from being shot even more...you did that Jamie..." Erin soothed.

"It wasn't enough to save him though," Jamie countered miserably.

"You did the best you could kid, Vinny knew that - you had his back right to the end," Danny kept trying to make him realise that he'd done all he could.

Danny then noticed movement as the mourners were beginning to make their way back to their cars. He managed to catch Frank's eyes and with a nod he was able to convey to his dad that Jamie was ok.

"Looks like the funeral is over - shall we get out of here?" Danny enquired.

Jamie thought for a moment, "Can I have a minute with him?" He asked as he was already shakily getting to his feet.

"Of course you can, we'll be waiting right here for you! " Erin assured him with a smile.

Jamie squeezed Erin's hand as he made his way towards his partner for one last time.

He was stopped by Mrs Cruz, who had a short conversation with Jamie, then hugged him tightly. After leaving her, Jamie found himself in his father's embrace - no words necessary. He placed a loving kiss on his son's forehead before letting him go to be with his partner.

Danny and Erin stood, hand in hand, like they used to when they were kids, watching their little brother mature even more in front of their eyes.

As Jamie said his last goodbye, he threw a handful of dirt onto the coffin, then with one final salute, he turned to leave.

His siblings noticed a more purposeful meaning to every step he took as he made his way back to them. When he reached his brother and sister, he brought them both into an uncharacteristic hug (Jamie was never an instigator of hugs), "Thank you...both of you...for having my back."

"Always Jamie," Erin assured him as she gently squeezed his shoulder.

The youngest Reagan kissed her on her forehead, "Let's go..."

**Hope that was at least kind of ok. Since writing this I've had another idea for a story spawned from this episode - but I'd better get a move on with it as I don't want to have to post it after the finale when its a missing scene from 3.22. Will have to see how it pans out. Thanks for reading.**


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